Social skills are usually learned by observation. Many people with intellectual disabilities (ID), have underdeveloped social skills. This is because the development of social skills relies heavily on certain intellectual abilities.
Our success in life is greatly determined by our social skills. We often take these skills for granted. Sometimes we are not even aware of these skills. It is easier to spot the absence of these skills, than to detect the presence of them.
This includes work, school, and interpersonal relationships. Some examples of good social skills include:
Understanding and honoring the standards of dress and decorum at different social occasions;
The acceptable forms of social interaction for different social occasions;
Knowing when to make eye contact and when to avert the eyes;
Determining when physical contact is acceptable and what type (e.g. a handshake versus a hug);
Being able to politely start and stop conversations;
Being able to make small talk;
Understanding how to notice and respond to non-verbal body language;
Appreciating social nuance such as sarcasm and humor;
Understanding the differences between literal and figurative speech;
Being able to express feelings and respond to the feelings of others.
Social skills are closely linked with language and communications skills. Effective communication involves the accurate use and interpretation of both verbal and nonverbal communication. It includes the ability to understand non-literal, figurative speech. For example, the weather is a popular way to make small talk. Suppose someone steps into an elevator and says, "It's raining cats and dogs out there." People might begin to nod or laugh with amusement. However, someone with an ID might become horrified. They might begin crying imagining cats and dogs dropping from the sky. They do not understand this non-literal figure of speech.
Good social skills also require behavioral management skills. For example, impulses must be kept under control across a wide variety of social situations. Self-care and grooming skills must be demonstrated. People with IDs often need to be explicitly taught behavioral management skills. For instance, they must learn to refrain from talking out of turn. They also need to speak at the appropriate volume when conversing. When provided direction, they learn to follow rules and social conventions. For example, with proper coaching, they know it is correct to wait in line to purchase a ticket.
Social skills are taught in a kinesthetic manner. This means that individuals learn by doing. They repeatedly practice proper social interactions in a step-by-step manner. The process of repetition helps solidify social skills.
Article By, Tammy Reynolds, B.A., C.E. Zupanick, Psy.D. & Mark Dombeck, Ph.D.
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